It's hell writing and it's hell not writing. The only tolerable state is having just written.
—Robert Hass
I have discovered that all the unhappiness of men arises from one single fact, that they cannot stay quietly in their own chamber.—Blaise Pascal
I want to be together when I am alone and I want to be alone when I am together.
I want to be busy when I am idle and I want to be idle when I am busy.
I want the city when I am somewhere quiet and I want quiet when I am in the city.
I want a boss when I work for myself and I want to work for myself when I have a boss.
I want to be known when I am anonymous and I want to be anonymous when I am known.
I want to be understood when I am alone and I want to be alone when I am understood.
I want to write when I am living and I want to live when I am writing.
I want to stay when I am leaving and I want to leave when I am staying.
I want to be home when I travel and I want to travel when I am home.
I want the phone to ring when it is silent and I want silence when it rings.
I want to be useful when I rest and I want to rest when I am useful.
I want certainty when I am free and I want freedom when I am certain.
I want to be chosen when I am free and I want to be free once I am chosen.
I want to lead when I follow and I want to follow when I lead.
I want to be finished when I start and I want to start over when I am finished.
I want an audience when I write and I want no one to read when I publish.
I want summer in January and I want January in August.
I want to stay quietly in the room. I have never once managed it.
Per my about page, White Noise is a work of experimentation. I view it as a sort of thinking aloud, a stress testing of my nascent ideas. Through it, I hope to sharpen my opinions against the whetstone of other people’s feedback, commentary, and input.
If you want to discuss any of the ideas or musings mentioned above or have any books, papers, or links that you think would be interesting to share in a future edition of White Noise, please reach out to me by replying to this email or following me on X.
With sincere gratitude,
Tom